(III) In my meditation, I realized that my journey is only my journey... I discovered what I had suspected all along, a gossip ring of sorts. I know my friends mean well, but I am where I am supposed to be. I am an addict, and I want to live... and if fourteen bucks a week is the price for that then so be it. Everyone is focused on what I haven't lost on the scale, but look at what I've gained in just a few short weeks. I actually feel good about myself, and this time I feel more confident... I can actually see my future self.
(II)
"The past is like a handful of dust, it filters through your fingers disappearing little by little. I wish, for one day, I could go back. In another life, I would do things differently."
~Katy Perry, The One That Got Away Trailer (Stevie Nicks)
I love the first line... and I used to always think this way, but what I've come to realize is that I would not want to change anything because its all brought me to this place... for better or for worse... I think for the better.
(I) I think I'm a little bit manic-depressive because yesterday I had a serious case of the giggles... everything was funny to me, which was weird since I had felt so low the past two days. And although I am the writer of my own material, I still have no clue why these three things were sooo funny: Throw Mama From the Trailer! Food Stamp Fist Pump!! The Doctor Shop Shuffle!!! When you have neighbors who are junkies, and lie and get every damn thing for free what can you do, but laugh?
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